“When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening. When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.” – Leviticus 15:16-19
Today we’re looking at the case for the permissibility of masturbation. In this surprising passage from Leviticus, we see a couple of things. First, when the third sentence specifices “sexual relations with a woman,” it clarifies that the first sentence really is referring to someone by himself. Some have assumed that this first sentence only refers to wet dreams, or “nocturnal emissions,” but the man is clearly presumed to be awake in the next portion, so we don’t have a warrant to just assume unconsciousness in the first part. Next, the fact that sexual relations with a woman (aka his wife) and a woman’s menstruation cycle also cause “uncleanness” tips us off that “uncleanness” wasn’t a sin category, but part of Israel’s ceremonial cleansing process (which was fulfilled on our behalf in Christ).
As we’ve already said, while masturbation isn’t explicitly prohibited (and seems here even to be spoken about neutrally), sinful lust is prohibited, and sexual immorality is prohibited. But our question is about masturbation itself, not about the things which might accompany it. While masturbation is not explicitly prohibited, one thing that is explicitly prohibited is adding additional requirements for righteousness that go beyond the explicit teaching of the Bible.
Deuteronomy 4:2 says, “You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take away from it, that you may keep the commands of the Lord your God that I command you.” Obviously taking away from the Word would make it harder to actually keep its commands (because we would forget them), but we tend to think adding additional rules means creating additional safeguards to secure our righteousness more fully. What this passage points out is that when we add rules, we end up diluting the focus away from what God has explicitly told us to focus on. Colossians 2:23 tells us that these kinds of man-made rules “lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.”
Abigail Rine is a professor at George Fox University. She discusses masturbation like this:
For those who plan to wait until marriage to have sex, masturbation can be a healthy way of dealing with natural sexual desire while single. The expectation that young men and women should go ten or fifteen years or more beyond puberty without expressing their sexuality in any way—and then suddenly “turn it on” when married—is, I believe, completely unrealistic and potentially harmful. How can we expect people to embrace the sexual dimension of embodiment in marriage while pushing the message that touching certain parts of one’s own body is inherently dirty and shameful?
Whether masturbation can rightly be called “solo sex” depends on how we define sex. Is sex “sex” because there is relational intimacy with another person, or because there is genital stimulation and orgasm? In hookup culture the latter part is all that matters, but it seems clear that “sex” as God intends it involves whole-person relationality. But if sex means whole-person relationality, then masturbation is not sex, so therefore not “sex outside of marriage.”
Now clearly, masturbation isn’t the ultimate purpose of sexuality. The fullest and highest purpose for our sexuality is in marriage—and in marriage, it’s possible that a lifelong habit of masturbation could make it harder for a husband or wife to surrender their sexual independence to their spouse. At the same time, not everyone is married, not everyone will be married, and even those who do marry typically do so at least a decade (or two) after their bodies have sexually matured. God does not adjust our sexual maturation date to correspond with the average marriage age of our culture.
Tara Owens teaches on the intersection of spirituality and sexuality, and describes the issue this way:
It’s easier (and I find the tendency in myself almost every day) to fall back onto the black and white rules that we’re often offered as answer to our struggles instead of doing the hard work of encountering our own desires and longings in relationship with God and others… Taken in this context, masturbation and whether or not it is a healthy expression of sexuality for a particular individual become questions of whether or not the acts of masturbation at a particular season of life are drawing you deeper into isolation from others and from God, or into deeper connection and intimacy.
Action Steps
As with yesterday, take some time to reflect on what’s written here. How do these ideas either challenge or line up with your own convictions? What life experiences led to those convictions? Spend some time praying and reflecting on how you would want your son or daughter to think about this topic.
If you’d like some more information to help you think through this issue, check out our Parent’s Guide to Masturbation. Then, when you’re ready, we’ll ask you to share your convictions with your teens. There’s no way around the fact that this will be an awkward conversation. But one of the “easiest” ways to discuss it with your son or daughter may be as a subtopic of the discussion around pornography. Here are a couple of ways you might start this conversation:
- Would you say that pornography is generally normalized in our culture/at school? What about masturbation?
- Why do you think God designed sexual pleasure?
- What does it look like for sexuality to not objectify other people?
Prayer
“Father, again, you created sex, you created pleasure, and you created our bodies. You know best how every aspect should function. Help me to seek your will, your goodness, and your holiness as it relates to this topic of masturbation. Give me insight on how I ought to talk about these issues with my kids. In Jesus’ name, amen.”