The key to smartphone success is writing something down with your kid. We’re talking pencil printing, not in blood.
So you’ve done your research. You’ve chosen a device that works for your family. You’ve set the parental controls, and you’ve got a general idea of what your guidelines should be. You’re ready to hand your young adult their first smartphone, right?
Before you make the handoff, there’s one last step: write something down.You may be able to make the rules crystal clear in your initial comments to your child. You may have a beautiful speech about responsibility and maturity that sounds almost as good as the Gettysburg Address. But after the excitement of getting a device wears off, it’s likely… okay, almost guaranteed that your kid isn’t going to remember the guidelines as you presented them.
So you’re going to need to write the rules down.We’ve created what we call the “eight domains” of introducing your kid to their own personal device. These are categories of conflict that come up for everybody, and you’ve got to get ahead of them right now.
The 8 domains are:
- Non-negotiables: What absolutely cannot happen on this phone? What will happen if those rules are broken?
- Money: Who pays for this phone? What if it gets lost, or breaks?
- Location: Who can track this phone? Can tracking ever be turned off?
- Time: What are the screen time limits on this device? Where is it kept at night?
- Internet: Does this phone have an internet browser installed? What can be accessed?
- App store: Does this device allow access to the app store? Who has permission to approve downloads?
- Texting: Which contacts are stored in this device? Who can it be used to contact?
- Social media: Is social media allowed on this device? If not now, could it be in the future?
The domains will likely need adjusting, updating, and constant visibility. Fill out the domains according to your kid, your relationship with them, and your personal convictions about how this should go. You could even fill it out alongside your kid and answer questions along the way. When you’re done, hang the finished version in a place of high visibility in your household. You might even want to make a few copies.
You can download, print out, and fill in a physical version of your family’s Smartphone Charter (linked here) yourself to meet the specific needs and expectations of your family.
Take your time to really talk to your kid about this and establish yourself as the authority.
When you’re done, you’ll have a Family Smartphone Charter—a guiding document for how your family thinks about the theology of technology.