So your teen called you an “Almond Mom.” Now what?
“Have a couple of almonds, and chew them really well.” Yolanda Hadid couldn’t have guessed that these words, uttered to her daughter over a phone call, would become a TikTok trend and shine a spotlight on how Gen Z and their parents see food very differently. That’s right: we’re talking about the phrase “Almond Mom.” But what does Almond Mom actually mean— and what does it tell us about how teens see healthy eating and body image?
Let’s take a look at how this trend got started, who it impacts, how teens are using this phrase, and how you can have healthy conversations with your teen about body image and body positivity
What is the “Almond Mom” mindset?
An“almond mom” is any parent (though typically a mother) who offers up unhelpful dietary advice to their children as a reflection of their own disordered eating habits. “Almond moms” are often women who have been negatively impacted by diet culture, whether they realize it or not.
Using phrases like, “A moment on the lips, forever on the hips,” “[This food] is so bad for you,” and “I’ll have to work this off in the gym” is extremely “almond mom” behavior. These phrases share the idea that food has moral value, and your own value is based on both your body and your food decisions.
While these phrases may seem harmless, we’ve learned that kids absorb their parents’ words – and they also internalize their attitudes, habits, and emotions about food and body image. The “almond mom” concept has stirred up a national conversation about how generational values around food and body image impact children’s self worth.
The good news is that parents can influence their children’s body image in positive ways, too. Parents can shift their emphasis from food guilt to nourishment, restriction to balance, and negative self-talk to confidence, helping their children develop a healthy relationship with food and positive view of themselves along the way.
The Power Of Parental Influence
Research shows that when parents model negative self-talk about their own bodies, follow restrictive diets, and comment on the bodies of others, their kids adopt similar mentalities and follow similar disordered eating patterns — even if those negative comments or food restrictions were never directed at them.
What does having an “Almond Mom” mean for kids who are raised by one? Studies show that parents, especially mothers, “powerfully shape children’s early experiences with food and eating.” But current body image trends tell us that parents could be doing a better job with this influence. According to one study, 7 out of 10 adult women are dissatisfied with their bodies — and the same can be said of 50% of preteen girls and 30% of preteen boys.
Well-intended food behaviors and statements can have negative, long-term impacts. Brittany Jones, a licensed and registered dietitian and the founder of a nutrition practice for all ages, has seen this firsthand. She told Axis in an interview, “We have a pediatrics program because we’ve seen the need. When kids see their mom following a rigid or restrictive diet, it starts to plant questions in their minds about their own food choices. They ask, ‘If Mama can’t eat that, why should I?’”
Growing up and going through puberty is confusing enough, so external reinforcements that our bodies are bad, weird, or ugly can have detrimental effects on body image and eating behaviors. Current data tells us that 22% of children and teens around the world experience disordered eating, and this number continues to rise in adulthood. We need more than a departure from the “Almond Mom” mindset – we need a new way to think about our bodies, and ourselves, entirely..
Made In His Image
When we look at our spouses, children, and friends, we can easily see the beauty in them. But sometimes, we struggle to see that same beauty in ourselves. Parents long for their children to look in the mirror and see someone who is valued and loved reflected back. Scripture is clear about this: our teens are indeed precious in God’s sight, and so are we. In Genesis 1:27, we see that God created humankind in His own image, and the psalmist reminds us of His handiwork in Psalm 139:13-14:
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
This intentional design bestows inherent worth and dignity on each of us. When we look at our kids, we are taking in the craftsmanship of the Creator. And as believers, our bodies host the Holy Spirit. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 3:16, “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?” The beauty of the gospel is that God dwells t in us. When we allow this truth to settle into our own hearts, we are better able to model self-worth to our teenagers.
What does it look like to model inherent worth? Rather than adopting an inflated sense of self-importance that stems from arrogance, we can live each day with a sense of confidence that comes from a secure identity. We don’t have to bend to unrealistic and ever-changing cultural standards about our bodies. Instead, we can think kindly about ourselves as people created, known, and loved by God.
Reframing The Conversation
A shift in perspective will automatically lead to a shift in language. As we focus on health and nourishing the bodies God blessed us with instead of the number on the scale or the “goodness” of a particular food, we can teach ourselves – and our kids – a new way to think and speak. Reframing the conversation can break generational habits that promote diet culture and lead to disordered eating and decreased confidence.
And if you’re worried that you’ve acted like an “almond mom” before, don’t shame yourself. Moving forward, try these three simple practices to reframe the conversation.
Banish Food Guilt
It’s all too easy for parents to label foods as “good” or “bad”. But as Jones reminds us, “Food has no morality. Categorizing good versus bad foods leads to guilt about enjoying certain foods in the moment and self-punishment after the fact.”
Her approach as a dietician? Instead of teaching kids that “they need to burn off” a sweet treat in the gym, teach them about different functions that different foods serve in our lives. Cookies are not bad while grilled chicken is good. Instead, cookies contain sugar and carbs which give us “quick energy,” while chicken is full of protein that gives us “long energy.” There are instances when chicken gives us what we need, and other times a cookie fits the bill perfectly!
Consider reframing these common phrases about food guilt:Say, “This food is vitamin-rich, which gives me energy!” instead of, “I’m choosing this food because I’m sticking to my diet.”
Say, “I’m nourishing my body,” instead of, “I’m being good.”
Say, “I love how the gym makes me feel” instead of, “I’d better go to the gym after what I just ate.”
Recognize Emotional Eating
. When kids notice that you hide treats away or down a whole bag of chips when you’re sad, they learn that food is something to be restricted or binged. Instead, provide consistency for your kids. Jones mentions that she offers her son a small sweet treat with every dinner. She explains that knowing sweets are available to him on a regular basis helps him avoid the urge to overindulge.
Providing consistency to our children goes beyond dessert. Sitting down together for intentional meal times, even if the family only has 20 minutes to do so, improves social skills, reduces picky eating behaviors, and creates a valuable connection between parents and children.
Consider reframing these common phrases about emotional eating:Say, “I’d like to eat something salty and delicious right now,” instead of, “I deserve an entire bag of chips after that work call.”
Say, “Let’s see if Dad would like a cookie when he gets home from work too!” instead of, “My word, how many cookies are you going to eat?!”
Say, “I always feel less sluggish when my plate is balanced with some veggies,” instead of, “When are you finally going to start eating healthy?”
Address Body Image
We’ve all looked in the mirror and felt a negative emotion wash over us. Diet culture impacts us in many ways, including body image, but we don’t have to pass this on to our children.
Even when you’re struggling with body image or bodily changes, be mindful of how you talk about yourself in front of your children. If you’re frustrated with your body, say “thank you” to it in front of your kids, prioritizing function over aesthetic. In doing so, you’ll teach them that their bodies are a gift rather than a curse.
Consider reframing these common phrases about body image:Say, “It feels good to take a long walk!” instead of, “My legs are so flabby. I need to start counting calories again.”
Say, “I want to focus on getting strong and feeling great,” instead of, “I need to get back to the gym and lose weight.”
Say, “My body has changed since I had a baby. Bodies change a lot throughout our lives!” instead of, “I wish I could get back to my pre-baby weight.”
Healing your own relationship to food and your body is a journey, and no parent will get it right one hundred percent of the time. To help our kids, we have to look to God to get help and healing for ourselves first. But even as we’re on the journey, we can take small steps toward a healthier mindset and positive talk.
May God’s grace help you live according to 1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”