A solution to the problem of what to do when our kids have friends we don’t like, why some high school and college students are giving up the use of AI, and the aftermath of the tragic shooting at Annunciation. But first:
Resource of the Week – The Table
This month, we’re excited to launch The Table, a dedicated community of monthly givers. This community will empower everything we do, from fueling conversations about teens and smartphones to previewing our new resources on mental health to sharing with us directly about what it’s like to raise the next generation of Christians. Members will get beautiful member-exclusive print resources and access to a safe, caring space to share their parenting journey. Click here to learn more!
And now for our three conversations…
1. With Friends Like These
What it is: The age-old dilemma of how to respond when kids develop friendships that their parents dislike may have a simple solution.
So what’s the solution? Sometimes, when parents forbid a particular relationship, their teen will feel an even stronger desire to pursue it—a phenomenon known as “psychological reactance.” But parental passivity—watching idly as kids make destructive decisions and nurture destructive relationships—is no good, either. The solution, at least according to Russell Shaw at The Atlantic, is to opt out of this conflict by consistently modeling and discussing your own positive family values (instead of criticizing the values of your teens’ friends). This works best when you can also make your home a place where your kids and their friends want to gather. Showing hospitality to your teen’s friends, even the ones who aren’t your favorite, will give your kids a lasting example of Christ’s love.
Continue the conversation: What’s one thing that would make our home more enjoyable for having friends over?
2. AI-Gainst AI
What it is: As research about how AI rewires our brains continues to come out, some high school and college students are deciding they’ll opt out of using AI altogether.
Why we can’t stop thinking about it: The young adults interviewed for this piece describe what it’s like to be total outliers amongst their peers—and they acknowledge that their efforts to retain their critical thinking skills might not earn them any earthly reward. A few say that their decision is based on self-respect, a love of learning, and a desire to preserve their own curiosity. Several have even decided to stop paying any attention to their GPA, as the metric now strikes them as meaningless when all their peers are using ChatGPT. OpenAI recently launched ChatGPT: Study Mode to walk students through problem-solving instead of just providing answers. But after 20 years of smartphones offering us instantly accessible information, any normalization of AI seems to be a bridge too far for some Gen Zers as they long for a more human experience.
Continue the conversation: What’s something you love to learn about, just for the sake of your own curiosity?
3. School Shooting in Minneapolis
What it is: What began as a joyful back-to-school Mass at Annunciation Catholic Church in Minneapolis turned to horror when a former student opened fire. Two children were killed, and 21 people were wounded.
Why it’s truly tragic: The violence struck a place that many families still assume to be safe, both a school and a sanctuary. The survivors’ stories have pierced the nation. There was a 12-year-old girl who had to be rushed into emergency brain surgery, and Dr. Andrew Engel, a Christian physician, who admitted that he felt fear in a way he never had at work when he heard that several young students were on their way to the hospital. Engel began to pray, “Not my will but yours,” and “Jesus, please be with us. Be near us.” Each story underscores the community’s grief and the questions they may never have answers to.
Let’s translate this one further…
When my daughter was in high school, she came home one afternoon after stopping to chat with the neighborhood kids. My neighbor’s niece, an 8-year-old, told her that they were “playing school.” At first, it sounded sweetly ordinary—until she explained what the game actually was. They were pretending to have an active shooter drill, hiding under the trampoline. It stunned us both that children so young were already rehearsing for tragedy.
That memory came back to me this week as many schools began practicing their active shooting drills and parents began wrestling with how to talk about them. Because these aren’t simply conversations about safety steps, but about the fears behind them: Do our kids feel safe? Do they know it’s okay to feel scared? These talks can feel overwhelming, but silence leaves them to carry their worries alone. It’s up to us to remind them that they’re not facing these fears by themselves, and that faith and community can steady us when the world feels scary.
When Jesus told Peter that the Church would withstand the very gates of hell, He wasn’t talking about a building or an institution. He was pointing to a Spirit-filled community that embraces the broken, heals with love, and draws out poison before it festers into despair or destruction.
Belonging to that kind of community won’t shield our kids from every act of violence, and it won’t guarantee they never struggle. Isolation is often where violence takes root, but within the Church, the Spirit reminds us that love and hope can endure, even in the hardest places. As we pray for those impacted by the violence in Minneapolis, we can also pray for the strength of Christ’s church—the strength to welcome the lonely, the strength to comfort the grieving, and the strength to offer hope and healing to a hurting world.
Continue the conversation:
- How do you feel when your school practices active shooter drills? Do they make you feel safer or more anxious?
- Are school shootings something you feel anxious about?
- Does having your smartphone with you at school make you feel safer in emergencies or do you think phones increase other risks?
For more context and nuance, check out our Roundtable podcast on Spotify, Apple, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to podcasts. On your way out, here’s a quick survey of some of the rest of the cultural landscape:
- Sabrina Carpenter said that her new album Man’s Best Friend was “not for any pearl clutchers,” as reported by The Hollywood Reporter (strong language and sexual content).
- Memes about Wal-Mart’s recall of “radioactive shrimp” started trending.
- Episode 1 of the new season of The Great British Baking Show will be released tonight in the United States.
- TCU destroyed North Carolina 48-14 in Bill Belichick’s college football coaching debut.
- Long-awaited indie game Hollow Knight: Silksong was released yesterday and was so popular it was crashing digital storefronts.
Parenting together,
Irene Tucker and the Axis Team
PS: Know someone who could use our conversation starters with their teens? Share the CT with a friend!