It Ends With Us finds box office success and behind the scenes drama, “back to school” season is in full swing, and parents worry most about their teens’ mental health and their plans for the future.
Song of the Week: “Lies Lies Lies” by Morgan Wallen
Morgan Wallen’s new single is a restrained, sad song about a breakup. While the lyrics are mostly benign, Wallen does allude to using alcohol to cope with pain, which has become a theme in his lyrics. “Lies Lies Lies” falls into the niche of music teens may use for catharsis, whether it’s dealing with a breakup or simply wanting to tap into a specific sadness they’re feeling. The song provides ample opportunity for conversations about love, breakups, and heartbreak. For the full lyrics, click here [mild language].
Three Big Conversations
1. It Ends With Bucks
What it is: The film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s It Ends With Us, starring Blake Lively, debuted in theaters with a $50 million opening weekend.
What’s been controversial: Much like the source material, the film contains extensive sex scenes, mature language, and a love triangle that gets even more complicated due to domestic violence. Thus far, it is the domestic violence theme that has attracted the most attention, perhaps because of issues behind the scenes. Social media has been alight with rumors of a feud between Justin Baldoni, who directed and starred in the movie, and Blake Lively. Baldoni has made it a point to bring up the issue of domestic violence with earnestness and compassion in press interviews, while Lively—who seems to be avoiding her co-star on the press tour—has chosen to focus on the fashion and feminine energy of her character. Regardless of whether the two had an actual falling out, Gen Z seems particularly interested in talking about how to depict domestic violence on screen—and who gets to decide what is appropriate.
Continue the conversation: Have you heard a lot about It Ends With Us?
2. Hauls of Learning
What it is: It’s back-to-school season across the US—which means “back to school hauls” are trending on TikTok.
What parents should know: Total back-to-school spending is projected to drop slightly, with parents of K-12 graders spending an average of $586 per student. Since the cost of school supplies has increased by 24.5% over the past four years, that means parents are prioritizing deals and trying to stretch their dollars farther. This economic reality has done little to slow down the onslaught of “hauls” on TikTok where students share items they’re excited to use in the new school year. In the past, these hauls tended to focus on school supplies like backpacks and notebooks (and sometimes still do), but posts are just as likely to include expensive fragrances and high end makeup. Low-slung, baggy sweatpants, cropped cotton tees, animal prints, Converse sneakers, and horseshoe jeans are just some of the trends that teens will be eyeing this season.
Continue the conversation: What is the biggest trend you’ve noticed for “back to school”?
3. Tough Topics
What it is: A new Gallup poll reveals that teens’ mental health, social media experiences, and plans for the future are the things parents worry about very often. Four in 10 parents surveyed say it’s difficult to discuss these particular subjects.
What teens have to say about it: It’s ironic—and maybe a little telling—that the things parents worry about the most appear to be the subjects that they find most difficult to discuss with their teenagers. When a parent is worried about a topic, it would seem their default response is to avoid bringing it up—but teens are actually craving these very conversations. According to the survey, 93 percent found it helpful or very helpful to talk about their mental health, and 83 percent say it’s helpful to talk about social media use. Gen Zers also say they don’t actually want someone to advise them when things make them upset, but rather just want parents to listen.
Let’s go deeper on this one…
Maximizing the Mundane
Sometimes, parenting a teen can be a little bit like parenting a kindergartner.
Remember the struggle of bedtime when your kids were really little? You would wrangle them through multiple steps every single night, hoping your consistency would someday give way to a predictable rhythm. You’d help them take a relaxing bath, offer tooth brushing assistance, put on their soft pajamas, read them a Bible story, and fetch somewhere between two and two hundred glasses of water before you finally tucked them in for the evening.
And how many nights, at the end of it all, right as you walked to the light switch and prepared to make your exit, did your child drop a huge question about the origin of the universe, or ask where babies come from, or make a bombshell statement about something that happened in school that day?
Why did that always happen? It’s partly because kids will do just about anything to stay awake just a few more minutes. But it’s also because quiet and unstructured moments lend themselves to creating vulnerable and open conversation. Being in a familiar space, with a familiar person, in the most mundane of moments, offers the reassurance kids need before they can really open up.
It’s as true for fifteen-year-olds as it is for five-year-olds. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, God commands His people to impress His commandments upon their children, and says to “talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
In other words, talking about tough topics isn’t about setting up huge moments where we deliver sage proclamations that set the tone for our children’s entire future. The most important work of our lives is sometimes as simple as holding space for quiet, patience, and fetching a million and one glasses of water. God can take care of the rest.
For a full “translation” of everything in this issue, check out our Monday Roundtable podcast on Spotify or Apple. In the meantime, here are three questions to spark conversation with your teens:
- What are some topics that feel scary to talk about?
- When is your favorite time of day to talk?
- When you’re feeling upset, what’s the best way to support and comfort you?
Parenting together,
The Axis Team
PS: This week we interviewed Dr. Arthur Satterwhite III from Young Life about the findings from their recent RELATE Project survey. Check it out here!